The Closet Virus

Now you’ve heard about being the one listening. Let’s try putting you in the shoes of the person opening up their heart. Read carefully, think everything through. You might be the one in this situation or one coming upon this situation.

Your past fills your mind so much that it brings down your day. Every stupid mistake, no matter how big or how small it is, repeats over and over in your mind until it burns into your memory. You thought you had thrown all these things into a closet where it would rot away, but instead it came back just to haunt you. Your whole mood turns negative. You start snapping at people that you don’t really want to snap at in your mind. Tears of pain fill your eyes everyday that passes by. You start to feel really tired and dread each day that comes your way. You search for what was the start of it all, what brought all this hurt onto your soul for these days. Next up, you start to think that life’s not worth living, that there’s no one in the world who can care for you. This brings us up toward the point where you spill your secrets to a stranger who leaves to grab coffee afterward.

What was the start of it all? Was it that some boy/girlfriend totally ruined your life? Was it that you said something you shouldn’t have that broke up a deep relationship with one of your friends? You can’t seem to find the answer, can you? Once you think you’ve located it, it slips through your fingers.

Stop for a moment. Stop thinking about your past or what you’ve done just for five minutes. Are you thinking of something? There’s a problem with this. You know there is. Need some help? The first mistake, even if you don’t believe that it’s this simple, is that you threw the memories you hated into a closet where they mutated into a virus, a virus that now plagues you. This virus comes to berate you for all the things you’ve done. It’s come back to eat you away until you give in to it. Is there a cure? Why, it’s funny that you should ask because there is. And if you think if the cure is trying to forget it, then you a quite wrong. You ask for forgiveness from the one(s) you have wronged, whether they give it to you or not isn’t your problem. The next two steps are tricky. You have to forgive yourself, forgive yourself from all the wrongdoings you have done to those around you.

Forgiving yourself, is there something wrong with that? No, forgiving yourself is one of the most important steps. You must forgive yourself since you realize you have done something wrong, you have to say you’re sorry in order to feel better. Follow me onto the next step. You have to live with the forgiveness that you’ve received, you have to live through each day, knowing the wrongs you’ve done, but you can’t live on them. If you live on them, you are not taking a step forward. We’ve all done something stupid in our lives. Sometimes we have a hard time forgiving ourselves. It does take time, I’ll admit, and some people can escape it much faster than others can. Think about it. You have to live knowing that you’ve done something wrong and still be happy. Does that sound painful? Not to me anyway. I’ve done some stupid things myself, and I still find myself laughing all the time. There are too many topics I would like to dive into that bounce off this, but eventually, you will see them all.

Try asking for the forgiveness of others, and then the forgiveness of yourself. My advice, don’t dwell on your past, no. You need to focus on today because we tend to miss every opportunity that comes our way. We tend to miss the fact that our brother/sister might need our help. We miss the important things in life. Sure, we are important, but our brother/sister is important too. So please, please don’t dwell on your past, the mistakes you’ve made. Don’t throw it into a closet where it will mutate to kill you off. Everyday is a new day. The day starts off clean. Yesterday doesn’t matter because it is in the past. But still, don’t try to forget it. It will haunt you. Do everything in your power to make today the best day, not try to find the source of your problem. Forgive and live. “I'm holding on to things I shouldn't. It's time to let them go. I've been on a losing streak, hit so hard I couldn't speak, but when I hear Your voice it fades away. And I can hear You say it's a brand new day, the pain goes away. I'm headed for the door, and I'm going home. I'm going home.” ~ “Brand New Day” by Fireflight

It’s a brand new day. Let’s try not to live on what happened yesterday, but let’s try to live on today. If the person walked away just because they thought they wanted coffee, that’s not your problem. Don’t miss what is sitting right in front of your face. Don’t miss that other person sitting in your own house, suffering with a similar pain. Smile for them, love them, let them know that you are always there. Be their friend.

I close with that. Remember, you don’t want to catch a virus. We have enough problems already. Thanks for taking time to read this. I hope this helps you in some way. May the rest of your week be filled with happiness. *hugs you*