The Hurt Slowly Fades Away

I must confess that this subject is a little too close to my comfort zone. It was difficult for me to write this because of how close it touches me. It is never easy to deal with betrayal of a loved one or friend. You wanted to believe that they would never do anything to harm you, you confided in them your deepest secrets and then they decided they have had enough.

They hurt you in the worse manner possible, using everything that you told them against you without remorse and never feeling apologetic. After all, you were only a tool and you were no longer useful. Even if you come to accept that you meant very little to them, it does nothing to fill the void in your heart.

You constantly beat yourself up and ask “Why did this have to happen? Why am I the one who was betrayed? What did I do to them that could possibly make them act like that? Was I not enough? Was I the problem all of this time?” Depression: it sinks in and never wants to let you go. Your struggles from day to day increase. You can never seem to find out the answers to your questions, making you believe that it was your fault all along.

No matter what others tell you, you cannot convince yourself that you have any value left. I know how this goes. My best friend at the time hurt me in such a way that I could not easily recover. I sat in the middle of depression for years because I could not find a way out, I could not convince myself that I was not the one at fault.

I tried to tell myself that it was not true, that I was better off without them. However, every time I thought I was getting better, I would sink again. It became so bad that I did not know how I was going to live through each day. There was not a day that went by that I did not think of my former friend. I had no way to deal with the pain that I was dealing with and the fact that she was always on my thoughts did not help. My life has changed since then. I may not be as strong as I project on the outside, but I know that the day will come when I am able to be so.

Through all of my struggles and the deep pain of losing a friend so dear to me has brought me to one thing; the hurt slowly fades away. It takes time, yes. It takes courage to face each day. It takes will and determination to never let you or anyone else stand in your way. It takes strength to keep on fighting, even when those around you will not spare you a moment. It takes even more to open yourself up and put yourself in a position where the possibility to be hurt is present.

The choice is ours, always. We have to decide whether or not we are going to fight and stand again. If we let others define us or tell us what to do, we never have a chance. Living up to others’ standards is how we set ourselves up for failure. We have to choose what we are going to do. Our standards might be lower than others, but we are not trying to be perfect, we are trying to be happy.

If we are happy with ourselves, each day becomes more bearable and we are able to look at the brighter side of things. As we continue to do that, the hurt continues to ease. We can manage each day by taking it one step at a time. We can write out our frustrations if life starts to get us down again, but we do not have to let it restrain us.

When we do, we remain stuck in a dark put that never seems to have an end. However, there is a way to get out. There is always a way to get out. Do not ever give up because you have a life ahead of you. Even if you can’t see it now, there is a path that is there for you to follow. All you have to do is look for it.