Broken Trust

There are times when we feel so cold in life, like there's nothing in our hearts even if we've given our hearts to our Savior. We lose faith. It becomes hard to put our trust in people, especially when we've been betrayed before. We tend to keep our feelings inward, deciding that humans aren't worth giving our trust. Trust is such a hard thing. We've been broken, we've been hurt. we've been empty.

I know that at some point in our lives, we all have struggled with these things in one way oranother. Trust is a hard thing for me. Thoughts like "Will they think I'm stupid for thinking this?" or "Will they abandon me once I tell them this?" have gone through my head more than once. And I'm sure they've gone through your at least at one point in your life. It's so hard to confide in people today. There's so much betrayal going around, especially in schools. Teens have the roughest time. We tend to struggle endlessly with drama. The drama within schools has made us, the teens, very unstable. We're afraid to confess our struggles to other people.

A writer's forum I'm on recently held a Moot, a writer's conference I guess you could say. Trust is such a struggle for me too. I keep my feelings inside, and it often leaves my heart feeling heavy. One day was all it took for me to let my barriers fall in front of the people at the Moot. The weight I had been carrying just rolled off my shoulders. I feel refreshed, someone new who came back from this place. It is so great when you can find that group of people who you can immediately put your trust into. God was looking out for me. He knew exactly what I needed.

Sometimes, it is not immediate that we find these groups of people who will listen to you and not betray you. Sometimes, we are meant to endure the pain of the broken trust. This experience of having our trust broken, I think, somehow builds us up for the rest of our lives. It's like the closet virus. We can't shove away the pain of the trust that was broken by someone in our lives. We can only endure it and try our best to help other people who also struggle with it. But that's still hard, isn't it? How can we help someone if we have no trust in anyone?

That's a matter of your own heart. In order to help anyone with broken trust, you have to have your own heart set out straight. Without trust, no one will be helped. Your heart must be in alignment with what you want to do. You can't remain distrustful of the people around you, especially if you want to help them. A word of caution out to you, however.... There are people who want to take advantage of your trust. They will use it to their own advantage and then drag you through the mud. And then they will leave you there, dirty and beaten, to die our in the rain. It's a painful road. Trust and distrust. What are we to do?

Ultimately, we are to trust in God. Psalm 62:8 says, "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Our God is our refuge, we can trust in Him at all times, and He will never betray us. We tend to miss this detail, skip over it like a section we don't like in a book. If we can put our trust in Him, then maybe we can be able to distinguish the good and the bad. Maybe we can find a way to put our trust into people instantly, like that one moment at Moot. It hurts at first when you let your guard completely down, but it's refreshing that we are able to do so. Without relieving ourselves of our pain, we break our hearts over and over.

I'm tired of my heart breaking. I want it to be in one piece in the hands of its Maker. After that experience at Moot, I hope that I will not let myself remain completely distrutful of people. There are people we can confide in. We don't have to do this alone, but we often try to which leads to our downfall. It will hurt, it will, but remember the relief you will feel afterward.

I leave this post at trust in the Lord. He will surely provide those who you can confide in. And if you struggle with a broken trust, then maybe you can join me in working on who we can pour ourselves out to. This journey is one that only God can help us on. We were made to trust a God higher than all, and so, we were also made to trust people.