The Puzzle Piece of Hope

There’s a piece of the puzzle that has been left out of what we’ve been talking about. And I must say that this piece is very important. It makes our hope for each day. It brings us a happiness we’ve never encountered before. It heals the broken heart of a poor child’s soul. It gives us comfort in the time of danger. When we’re feeling down, we’re often searching for something to lift our spirits up. The hurt of a betrayal, the death of a loved one, the agony of just living each day, something about this puzzle piece makes life more bearable.

Life brings us the many troubles of the world, and in this time, trouble is spreading. People are constantly looking for that special puzzle piece, but somehow, it’s completely lost. And there are those who have found that puzzle piece and now are complete with the joy they hold in their hearts. Some just want to believe that there is no puzzle piece to fill in that empty space. Everyday, there are people around the world making silly mistakes, and they come to regret what they’ve done. They lose hope. They stop looking for that missing puzzle piece. Depression eats away at their mind, and they stop listening to the healthy advice from other people when it comes around. Public schools have thought that puzzle piece as rubbish. Politicians laugh at those who search for it. Scientists try to disprove it from existence. Our country when it began started on this piece. It brought hope for those living in this afflicting world. But you might wonder how a puzzle piece can heal your scars, bring happiness to your depressed soul, or help you walk on your two legs again. After all, isn’t it just an object?

Some of you might already know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about God. I’m talking about Jesus, our Savior. He’s the Way to ultimate Hope. He’s the puzzle piece that makes our lives complete. Jesus promises us hope that will never fade. There are people out there in our world that would call me stupid for believing in God. Those people are the public schools, the politicians, the scientists, and everyone else who stops looking for the puzzle piece. They hold no hope that true happiness can ever be acquired.

Hope isn’t something you should throw away. Hope gives you a reason for living each day to the fullest. And more, hope brings the sunshine into your soul. You know what? God gives that hope. He heals the hearts of the broken, even when they’re depressed. He still loves the people who lose their way. We’ve been talking about depression and broken hearts. The thing is, your final step for obtaining true happiness is to know that God loves and accepts you for who you are. He won’t walk away on you. That puzzle piece is always lying in the same spot. The puzzle piece lies right in front of your face, but it’s your choice to decide whether or not that’s the real piece to fit into the puzzle.

We’ll go through trials; trials that will bring pain to our hearts. We must not give in. Holding on to that Hope, that puzzle piece, will help us through each day. I love my Lord and Savior. He brings the Light in my heart and heals the scars that pain me. He wipes away those tears on my face. Jesus pulls me out from that depression and shows me something better. Don’t let the world shut down your hopes, and certainly don’t follow the trend consuming society.

The Hurt Slowly Fades Away

I must confess that this subject is a little too close to my comfort zone. It was difficult for me to write this because of how close it touches me. It is never easy to deal with betrayal of a loved one or friend. You wanted to believe that they would never do anything to harm you, you confided in them your deepest secrets and then they decided they have had enough.

They hurt you in the worse manner possible, using everything that you told them against you without remorse and never feeling apologetic. After all, you were only a tool and you were no longer useful. Even if you come to accept that you meant very little to them, it does nothing to fill the void in your heart.

You constantly beat yourself up and ask “Why did this have to happen? Why am I the one who was betrayed? What did I do to them that could possibly make them act like that? Was I not enough? Was I the problem all of this time?” Depression: it sinks in and never wants to let you go. Your struggles from day to day increase. You can never seem to find out the answers to your questions, making you believe that it was your fault all along.

No matter what others tell you, you cannot convince yourself that you have any value left. I know how this goes. My best friend at the time hurt me in such a way that I could not easily recover. I sat in the middle of depression for years because I could not find a way out, I could not convince myself that I was not the one at fault.

I tried to tell myself that it was not true, that I was better off without them. However, every time I thought I was getting better, I would sink again. It became so bad that I did not know how I was going to live through each day. There was not a day that went by that I did not think of my former friend. I had no way to deal with the pain that I was dealing with and the fact that she was always on my thoughts did not help. My life has changed since then. I may not be as strong as I project on the outside, but I know that the day will come when I am able to be so.

Through all of my struggles and the deep pain of losing a friend so dear to me has brought me to one thing; the hurt slowly fades away. It takes time, yes. It takes courage to face each day. It takes will and determination to never let you or anyone else stand in your way. It takes strength to keep on fighting, even when those around you will not spare you a moment. It takes even more to open yourself up and put yourself in a position where the possibility to be hurt is present.

The choice is ours, always. We have to decide whether or not we are going to fight and stand again. If we let others define us or tell us what to do, we never have a chance. Living up to others’ standards is how we set ourselves up for failure. We have to choose what we are going to do. Our standards might be lower than others, but we are not trying to be perfect, we are trying to be happy.

If we are happy with ourselves, each day becomes more bearable and we are able to look at the brighter side of things. As we continue to do that, the hurt continues to ease. We can manage each day by taking it one step at a time. We can write out our frustrations if life starts to get us down again, but we do not have to let it restrain us.

When we do, we remain stuck in a dark put that never seems to have an end. However, there is a way to get out. There is always a way to get out. Do not ever give up because you have a life ahead of you. Even if you can’t see it now, there is a path that is there for you to follow. All you have to do is look for it.

The Closet Virus

Now you’ve heard about being the one listening. Let’s try putting you in the shoes of the person opening up their heart. Read carefully, think everything through. You might be the one in this situation or one coming upon this situation.

Your past fills your mind so much that it brings down your day. Every stupid mistake, no matter how big or how small it is, repeats over and over in your mind until it burns into your memory. You thought you had thrown all these things into a closet where it would rot away, but instead it came back just to haunt you. Your whole mood turns negative. You start snapping at people that you don’t really want to snap at in your mind. Tears of pain fill your eyes everyday that passes by. You start to feel really tired and dread each day that comes your way. You search for what was the start of it all, what brought all this hurt onto your soul for these days. Next up, you start to think that life’s not worth living, that there’s no one in the world who can care for you. This brings us up toward the point where you spill your secrets to a stranger who leaves to grab coffee afterward.

What was the start of it all? Was it that some boy/girlfriend totally ruined your life? Was it that you said something you shouldn’t have that broke up a deep relationship with one of your friends? You can’t seem to find the answer, can you? Once you think you’ve located it, it slips through your fingers.

Stop for a moment. Stop thinking about your past or what you’ve done just for five minutes. Are you thinking of something? There’s a problem with this. You know there is. Need some help? The first mistake, even if you don’t believe that it’s this simple, is that you threw the memories you hated into a closet where they mutated into a virus, a virus that now plagues you. This virus comes to berate you for all the things you’ve done. It’s come back to eat you away until you give in to it. Is there a cure? Why, it’s funny that you should ask because there is. And if you think if the cure is trying to forget it, then you a quite wrong. You ask for forgiveness from the one(s) you have wronged, whether they give it to you or not isn’t your problem. The next two steps are tricky. You have to forgive yourself, forgive yourself from all the wrongdoings you have done to those around you.

Forgiving yourself, is there something wrong with that? No, forgiving yourself is one of the most important steps. You must forgive yourself since you realize you have done something wrong, you have to say you’re sorry in order to feel better. Follow me onto the next step. You have to live with the forgiveness that you’ve received, you have to live through each day, knowing the wrongs you’ve done, but you can’t live on them. If you live on them, you are not taking a step forward. We’ve all done something stupid in our lives. Sometimes we have a hard time forgiving ourselves. It does take time, I’ll admit, and some people can escape it much faster than others can. Think about it. You have to live knowing that you’ve done something wrong and still be happy. Does that sound painful? Not to me anyway. I’ve done some stupid things myself, and I still find myself laughing all the time. There are too many topics I would like to dive into that bounce off this, but eventually, you will see them all.

Try asking for the forgiveness of others, and then the forgiveness of yourself. My advice, don’t dwell on your past, no. You need to focus on today because we tend to miss every opportunity that comes our way. We tend to miss the fact that our brother/sister might need our help. We miss the important things in life. Sure, we are important, but our brother/sister is important too. So please, please don’t dwell on your past, the mistakes you’ve made. Don’t throw it into a closet where it will mutate to kill you off. Everyday is a new day. The day starts off clean. Yesterday doesn’t matter because it is in the past. But still, don’t try to forget it. It will haunt you. Do everything in your power to make today the best day, not try to find the source of your problem. Forgive and live. “I'm holding on to things I shouldn't. It's time to let them go. I've been on a losing streak, hit so hard I couldn't speak, but when I hear Your voice it fades away. And I can hear You say it's a brand new day, the pain goes away. I'm headed for the door, and I'm going home. I'm going home.” ~ “Brand New Day” by Fireflight

It’s a brand new day. Let’s try not to live on what happened yesterday, but let’s try to live on today. If the person walked away just because they thought they wanted coffee, that’s not your problem. Don’t miss what is sitting right in front of your face. Don’t miss that other person sitting in your own house, suffering with a similar pain. Smile for them, love them, let them know that you are always there. Be their friend.

I close with that. Remember, you don’t want to catch a virus. We have enough problems already. Thanks for taking time to read this. I hope this helps you in some way. May the rest of your week be filled with happiness. *hugs you*

Let's put the Coffee Aside...

Someone decides to pour out their heart to you, dumping all that goes on in their thoughts onto your shoulders. They ramble about how depressed they are and how they just wish they could disappear. You hear every word they say, maybe some of it escapes your thoughts, but you retain most of what they explained to you. They close their speech with broken tears and rub their eyes. You chuckle and stand up. Your hand touches their shoulder as they look up to your grinning face. “Hey,” you say, “don’t worry about it. We all feel like this sometimes. All you have to do is forget about it and move on.” Then you walk away and get in your car. Maybe you decide to grab some Starbucks on the way home.

You don’t realize what you left behind you. When you stepped into your car, that same person continued their cries, much louder than they were before. People walking near the building gawk at the person and then casually walk away as nothing happened.

Fact is, that person’s heart had been shattered. It was already broken while they were speaking to you, but it fell into millions of pieces when you said those three sentences. They feel like an idiot, so stupid that they thought they could put their trust in you. They feel used. And all the while you’re drinking your Starbucks, this person is crying out in agony for someone to mend their soul.

Okay, now I bet you’re wondering what that story has anything to do with listening. Think about it. Someone pours out their hearts you. You hear what they say and say something in response, but that particular response only injures them further. While you were sitting in front of them, thinking to yourself “I really need some coffee”, they were breaking up inside. They trusted you with the thoughts of their heart and spilled their guts in front of you. And you said “Don’t worry about it, okay? Shoot, it’s 3 o’clock. I need to go get some coffee…” Again, I’m telling you to think about it. You did nothing wrong, right? You gave them a word of encouragement to try to cheer them up. You listened to their ramble. So you did nothing wrong. Heh, a word of encouragement is not wrong. The last sentence of what you said was. “All you have to do is forget…” how many times do we say that to ourselves? Probably many. But fact is, forgetting isn’t going to help it. It’s putting a band-aid on a gushing wound.

In order to help someone when they are consoling you, you have to make a choice to listen to their hearts and not their words. Listen to their emotion. That person cracked down in tears at the very end of their explanation. Something pained their hearts. And all the while you chose to think that you really needed to get home or that you needed coffee.

A person is far more valuable than your coffee. Put yourself in that person’s place. They made a choice to talk to the likes of you because they thought you would listen. You both had to make a choice, and the choice is the most difficult part of a conversation. Choosing to ignore them and saying “forget it” isn’t going to help someone who could be mortally wounded. Be a doctor for your friends. They need your comfort, so make the choice to listen to them when they need you. There’s even people out there who aren’t exactly your friends, but some of them are going to open up to you. You are the key to helping someone else survive. And give them a hug too! Let them know that they are loved, that you will always be there for them to tell them that they’re not alone. Put aside your coffee. Put aside even your work, if the situation requires it, to speak out to your friend and find out what they’re going through.

Now choosing plays a major factor in a lot of things, but this section is only for listening. Will you not only start listening, but will you start choosing to listen to their hearts?

Taking the Time to Listen

Listening to a person drone continuously on about a subject can be boring. We have all had instances where we tune out what the person is saying because we simply do not care at the moment. We are too busy thinking about what else we need to do today and if we will have time to get our fix for caffeine on the way to the next item on the list.

We race from one task to another, telling people that we will talk to them if they make it fast and simple. However, we are not really listening to the words that they are saying, the feelings in their voice, whether or not this subject means a lot to them. We brush it off and continue on with our lives, with what we want to do.

Conversations, that used to fill up entire afternoons are now filled with quick, short-handed messages that often are shallow and never delve into the deeper topics of life, or they do and we do not completely listen to the whole problem. Then when a problem escalates, we wonder where it all went wrong.

We often want to blame the person, saying that they never told us about what they were going through. However, the opposite is true. They told us, we were not prepared to listen. We were not ready to receive what they are saying. By not being able to receive their words, we are also not understanding what they are saying and therefore are less effective when giving advice.

While just even taking the time to listen can be a problem, it’s relating and trying to understand where people are coming from that is another challenge. While there are situations where we cannot relate to others on and all we can do is hug them, there are times when we can offer advice when we have gone through a similar situation.

However, those conversations are disappearing from our daily lives. With all of the technology that we have these days, it make it easier for us to disconnect with people and be friends from afar. We may want to care, but our hearts need to be there to listen so that we can open up and understand others.

Will you open up to start listening to others?

Begin Again

When writing about thoughts of the heart, you are forced to look at yourself in a way that is often uncomfortable. There are many skeletons hiding in our biggest closet, the heart that we often do not want to confront because of past horrors that often leave us scarred forever. We do not know how to deal with them so we bury them and hope that no one knows.

However, we go back several years later, they are still there. What we often do not realize is that they have held onto us for so long that we accepted them as normal. Our hearts are both our most precious and terrifying thing; we are both afraid of it and want it to feel good at the same time.

We often do not feel good most of the time. That is because we let the problems of our past get in our way in a bad way. Instead of dealing with the pain, we want to forget about it. However, it often ends up controlling our actions and leads us to very dangerous stunts that most of us regret. We often think that in order to lead a better, happier life, we have to forget about what happened to us in the past.

That is not the case. Your past is what makes you the person you are today, it strengthens you and points out your weaknesses so that you can improve them. By shoving away your “skeletons”, you are also ignoring the lessons that you could be learning.

It is hard to accept, but it is the truth. You cannot grow from an experience if you are not willing to find the answers. You have to search for them. On this blog, you are looking for answers in different thoughts. You are trying to discover different sides that you may have never thought, or thought about and discarded it as irrelevant at the time.

There will be times when a topic will hit too close to home and it is up to you whether you will confront the issue or skip over it, shove it aside, and bury it once more. There are people that think that they are doing themselves a favor by pushing it aside, but it is far from that. It is hurting your already broken heart more. If you cannot pick yourself up already, where else will you go?

Instead of thinking of each topic that comes too close for your comfort as a constant reminder of your hurt, think of it as an opportunity to begin again. “Take my hand and then, We can find a new beginning, Let's begin again, While there's still time.” —Ray Boltz’s “Let’s Begin Again”. It is time to begin once more, to find a path that will help us instead of hurt.

Thank you for reading; I hope you find this helpful.

~Yuki

A Thought's Beginning

"'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said, gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" – Lewis Carroll in his Alice in Wonderland. The way of life goes, all things have to start at a beginning, including little things like this blog. A novel needs a writer to place those first few words onto the paper. A building needs a construction worker to erect its walls. Homework assignments need a student to solve that first problem. Everything has a beginning, and eventually, an end. I imagine everyone has felt the relief when they finished that last problem on their homework, knowing that they could participate in whatever they so pleased. Sure, we all continue to receive more tasks on our plates, but that’s why they call the first time the beginning. After the beginning, well, you’ve got the middle and it keeps adding up.

Where am I going with this? I bet that’s what you’re wondering. This blog is now the beginning of exploring the thoughts of a heart. Things will start to unravel, questions will be asked, discussions are permitted, and I most welcome anyone who wishes to comment. Dive in with me, don’t bury your head in the sand, everyone has heard thoughts of their own heart. The heart of each person varies since no one is the same as another person. We all have our pain, whether emotional or physical, I don’t know, and that pain leads to certain thoughts, thoughts of which I call thoughts of the heart. It’s okay that you have questions. If there is something on your heart, something that you want explained, feel free to speak up and tell me that you want me to explain a certain topic to you. I will not ignore you. No one should feel out of place because their opinion differs from mine or yours.

A beginning has come with a path to explore. You are welcome to stay and see where our journey ends up. You are also welcome to turn around and say that this is stupid. I won’t mind. I won’t stop you. Thank you, my readers, for taking time to read through the beginning of my little blog. :)

~ Raine